My involuntary donation

If you live in Alabama, particularly in Tuscaloosa, I'm sure you've seen the pretty new state trooper motorcylces around town.



They've been patroling Tuscaloosa like ants at a picnic lately. Well, this morning as Brad was on his way to work he called to warn me about the 2-3 state troopers on the highway. "You better not get a ticket!!" he says. If you don't already know, I'm a notoriously fast driver. I always speed and always have...and have never gotten a ticket before! I think you know where this is going...

So...guess what you never want to see through your back windshield?



That's right. A pretty little state trooper on his pretty new little state trooper motorcyle. I tried my best to be cute and innocent yall. I even stuck my belly out and rubbed on it so he would see that I was pregnant. Who would give a cute, innocent, pregnant lady a ticket?? Especially when I've never had one before! THAT LITTLE PRICK-THAT'S WHO!!! He clocked me going 74mph in a 55mph zone-which honestly is just stupid because it was the interstate and there wasn't even any construction going on!! UHH!!

So you know what? When the state trooper's office calls my house asking for a donation, I'm going to tell them that I've already contributed $162 to the new motorcycle fund and they can SHOVE IT!