I'm ok.

At least for now. Friday I had my pitty party. I cried, I hyperventilated, I drank two Smirnoffs. Then Sunday I decided that I was ready for whatever my doctor wanted to do next. And I have no clue what he wants to do next, I'm waiting for him to call me as I type. But God has given me an unexplainable peace about this whole situation. A peace in knowing that May was just not our month. It wasn't time yet. I don't know when the time will be or if it will ever be, but I prayed yesterday with every fiber of my being that He would trust me enough to give us a child. And if it's His will for us to have a biological child, we will have one. So that's that.

I'll update as soon as I hear from my doctor.

Update: I just talked to my doctor and he said that I did ovulate last cycle. He wants to keep me on the same dosage of Clomid (50mg) as last month. Basically everything stays the same for this next cycle. I hope and pray that it works this time!! After thinking about it, I laid out for a good part of the day Sunday while we were at the beach (and I think I ovulated on the Friday before). I wonder if that affected me not getting pregnant....since you are not supposed to get in the hot tub or take hot baths while pregnant...what about sunbathing?